All the Right Moves
by sureality rings
Summary: This is the Mage Origin, but with a twist! Cullen has been recruited in the Grey Wardens alongside of Amell. This time, their future all depends on them. I wrote a story previous to this one, so I hope you enjoy it! Rated M for future content!
1. PROLOGUE: MAGE ORIGINS

**A/N: **Okay, awhile back I started a story that will follow the same path as this one. But the problem was, I sort of lost interest. Not just that! But I was busy and didn't have the time. So now, I decided to restart everything. Start totally new and yeah. I changed her name, her look out on life and well I found myself wondering if it would be interesting to kind of switch everything between Amell's POV and then from Cullen's 3rd POV. It could be fun. So yeah! I hope you enjoy it. And please no negative feedback. It is kind of rude to do that. And if I get even one, I will not continue with the story what so ever. But to those who enjoy it? I will personally thank all of you who leave me feedback. K! Lots of love to you all, k! ;)

Oh! And I do not own Dragon Age: Origins. It is owned by Bioware. I am just a helpless lover of the game, 'tis all!

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The stance I had been holding for what felt like hours now, had shifted. Jowan, the only friend and companion I have ever had in the tower, nervously glanced in my direction. I had already known what he was thinking. There wasn't much to it. He was nervous. He was terrified. He also had a tendency to make himself out as a complete arse, but I don't tell him that.

"Are you sure?"

"Just do it."

"Are you positive?"

"Well, now that you're questioning me…"

"I can't do it now."

"Come on. If you don't do it, then I'll do it."

"WHAT?"

"Seriously. You said you wanted help with this, I agreed. Now you're just wasting my time."

I easily drop my stance letting my hand fall to my hip, resting comfortably there. He was impatient. He was completely rash. But he was my best friend. I would gladly give up everything to see that he became the mage he's always wanted to become.

"Estellise…"

"Just do it. I'll be fine."

I give him a carefree smile. But I knew what I was really feeling. I was terrified. I may have mastered the magic shield, but against another mage? It really depended upon their power. I could get blown up. I could get tossed around like a rag doll or well, it won't do anything. I just kind of hope for the last bit.

"Are you sure?"

There he goes again. Sighing, my eyes closed as I brought the spell to my mind. It was an easy one. The shield was one of the first spells we are taught when we first arrive at the tower. They had pointed out that it was more as a precaution and safety than anything else. Which I hardly believed. While most of the girls in the tower enjoyed the healing arts. I on the other hand, enjoyed the fact I got to blow things up with just a flick of a wrist. Which was why I mastered the shield spell in the first place. A precaution, really.

The room's temperature dropped drastically. I could feel it. He was going to do it. I was slightly impressed with the fact I was persuasive enough to get him to do this. My hand comes up, the soft purple light shimmers against my touch as I feel the pressure build up. The spell will be coming soon.

Then everything just goes wrong.

The room turned from a soft glowing gold color and into a blue haze. His spell was strong enough to literally send me flying. The once bun that held up my hair, was loosened. The dark curly locks fly free. I cringe when I feel my body being crushed by the impact into a bookshelf. The groan escaped my lips, but the pain was the only thing I felt. It was so excruciating that tears came to my eyes.

"ESTELLISE!"

"Ow…"

Was all that I could get out as he is nearly smothering me. His arms are around me. His eyes looking me over, trying to see if he did any serious damage. I close my eyes, not wanting to see the worried look on his face.

"I'll be fine." I shrug his hands off of me.

"Are you sure… maybe you should go see Wynne?" The look in his eyes caused me some annoyance.

"You of all people should know that this…" I gesture to the somewhat damaged bookcase, that was kind enough to break my fall. "Is nothing compared to what I've smashed into before."

"But you should still go see her. Maybe you just feel alright. You could have broken something…"

That just goes on and on. I was annoyed. I was angry and well, I wanted to punch him for being a total idiot. "I'll be fine." I move him out of the way, breaking his train wreck of worry words.

"Estellise…"

I hated it when he would say my name like that. Always felt like I was being scolded. "Let's do this over again." I grimace. My words were harsh but he seemed to understand.

The next few times the spell wouldn't start. So I pushed a few more of his buttons. Though what I said should never be repeated. It did however work in getting him to send an arcane bolt at me. My shield easily reflecting it, I sigh. My own eyes closed, dropping the shield from around me. Closing my side of the Fade in that single gesture.

"Go get some sleep." I offer at least.

I knew just how tiresome firing off an endless amount of magical energy at someone for hours could be. He moves to leave however, his eyes were completely averted from my own. Though apart of me feels guilty for pushing him so hard. With a sympathetic smile, I wave it off. "I'm sorry." I say with a carefree voice. He blinks surprised by my words… actually that kind of hurt. "I'm sorry for pushing you so hard." I whisper quietly, as my smile drops off of my face. "I just want you to reach your dreams, 'tis all."

He seemed grateful because he quickly closed the distance between the two of us. He was hugging me. This time more tightly than he has before. Which caused my entire body to heat up under his touch. He never really does this in front of others in the tower. But when I look around I see only one Templar in the small library. He had been eyeing us for awhile. It wasn't exactly unusual since they all were like that. Watching our every step. Hate oozing off of them. But what exactly was I to expect from men who stood around more like decorations, than protectors?

I am suddenly brought back to reality of Jowan hugging me and his words of forgiveness was enough to make me blush even more. He lets go, his arms falling to his sides as I return his uneasy look.

"How about we practice again before my Harrowing?"

It was the only time I could offer. I had plans to study for the next few days because of it.

He nods this time. Though his smile seemed to slightly fade when I mentioned the Harrowing, but I pretend like I don't notice. "How about the day of?"

"Okay." He delivers a single nod.

He moved to leave me in the Library, alone. I was always by myself it seemed. "G'night," He waves over his shoulder before he headed for the Apprentice Halls. "Night." I whisper in return.

As soon as his figure disappears behind the doorframe, I feel my knees buckle beneath of me. My dark robes fall around me in a circle, as I try to catch my breath. But it was the fact he had nearly drained me of all my mana. I had no idea Jowan was that powerful. I guess it was my fault, since I told him not to hold back.

My breathing becomes more and more uneasy. There were dark splotches in my eyesight. I was either going to pass out or just end up sitting there until someone came across me.

It was after this single random thought that a pair of steel gloved hands reach under my arms. I had never realized how cold metal was until I felt those fingers. "Are you alright?" The one who picked me up, his voice was so calm. It was so nice, so refreshing but there was that hint of worry in his words. He had chosen them carefully, it seemed. "I'm fine…" I manage to mutter before my feet move to give way under me.

"No, you're not." This time his words were a little harsher. More demanding than anything else. "I'll get the Senior Enchanter Wynne."

But there was hesitation in his grip. He was afraid to let me go. I wasn't glass, I knew this much. In a single moment he swept me up into his arms. Cradling my head against his chest, he held me close. It was in this single gesture that I knew who he was. He was one of those lone decorations standing in the doorways of the Tower.

A Templar? But why? Why was he helping me?

"You can put me down."

"I will take you there. It will be much quicker."

"Excuse me?"

"Just be quiet."

"Fine…"

Normally I would have put up more of a fight but it was nice. It was comforting to have someone carry me. It was nice to be able to know that I wouldn't have to struggle up four flights of stairs just to get to Wynne. Then to have her scold me for being reckless… again.

"What's your name?"

He was quiet. The calm, serene look on his fine features was nice. He paused a little to shift my weight in his arms before he continued on his destination.

"Cullen."

"That's a nice name."

"Is it?"

"Yes."

"So is Estellise."

"No, it isn't."

"I like it."

It was in those single words that I smile a little to myself.

"Do you always…"

"Always do what?"

"Well… put yourself in harms way like that?"

"You mean with Jowan?"

"Yes?"

"I didn't expect him to be so strong."

"I could have told you that."

"I never thought to ask you."

"True."

Templars had the uncanny ability to judge a mage by how powerful they were. But I had never truly talked to a Templar about it. Curious as I was about how they worked, I knew that I would never be told. The deep, dark and even eerie secrets of the chantry.

Ever since I was a child, they had scared me. The way they calmly stood there, without so much as a look in your direction. How they had this strange aura that just oozed off of them in droves. They were always told never to look at us. To never give us another glance. That if we gave any sort of hints that we practiced the illegal arts of Blood Magic, they were to strike us down in a single beat of a heart.

We, however, were always taught to be thankful for them being there. That they were the only reason why those of us were allowed to live a quiet life in the Tower. I knew why they were there. They were there because the rest of the world needed to be protected from us. I didn't mind, I knew just how dangerous we were. It made sense really.

But each and everyone of us had our pasts. Each one of us had come from somewhere. There were those who enjoyed this life. There were others, who were like me, that hated it. But a small part of me enjoyed the idea of being dangerous. Apart of me hated my family for dying an early death. Apart of me hated my older brother for leaving me behind to have a secret life in Lothering. Apart of me detested the idea that I was forced to live in the Tower. But I was thankful, I was thankful that my brother sent me letters every month to tell me how his life was going. That no one knew who I was. That no one knew what he was. Even though we had created a special code to get away with sending information back and forth between each other. I however, miss him greatly still.

"What's wrong?"

I hadn't noticed he stopped walking. I also hadn't noticed that we were on the Mage's Hall floor. That Wynne's room wasn't too far away.

"Lost in thought, 'tis all."

I know it wasn't the best excuse but he seemed content with it. The short walk continued as we kept our conversation to a small whisper, fearful that we'd wake up the others on this floor. At least no one else was roaming around, otherwise I'll never live this one down. Cullen, it seemed was carefree with this single gesture. As if he was making up for all the fear the Templars hold over the mages in this tower. Huh, I thought to myself as he ends up at Wynne's door. He shifts his weight to take me in a single arm, as he raises a gloved hand towards her door.

A simple rap against the door brought it open. Wynne took a single glance at the Templar holding me in his arms and her tired expression turned to one of total concern. She was already shoving the poor guy into the room when she ordered him to drop me on her bed so she could get to her herbs and other things that just smell horrid.

"What did you do now?" Her words held back a hint of anger but I sigh as she examines me.

"I didn't do anything… Jowan did this."

She stops in her examination to give a single look. In that look I felt my entire body rise in temperature. She didn't believe me.

"It's true, Senior Enchanter Wynne."

"Is it now?"

Her examination continues as she peels off my robe quickly. Without bothering to tell Ser Cullen he should leave. The poor guy turned completely pink and turned around abruptly as my top came off.

"So did you rope this poor Templar to do your bidding?"

"No."

"Liar."

"I didn't!"

"Sure."

"Really, he was just there and before I knew it he was carrying me."

"Uh-huh."

"Wynneee…"

She was laughing now, which was a nice change of pace at least. "You have some minor bruising and your shoulder is completely shattered. Not to mention your energy is completely drained."

Concern was behind her words. "I can heal the bones but your energy is something that requires complete and total rest for the next few days."

I groan, knowing just how important the next few days were to me. If I didn't pass my Harrowing I was screwed. Completely and utterly screwed. "Hold still."

A warm soft light leaves her finger tips as it touches my shoulder. I can feel the bones reattaching themselves but it was painful. It was so painful that a small cry left my lips. He flinched when he heard me cry out, but it was as if he was holding himself back. As if he wanted nothing more than to rush to my aid. But he held himself still. His weight shifted from one foot to the other, over and over again. Was he nervous? He didn't need to be. Wynne gave the okay, once she was done knitting the bones in my shoulder back together.

"Take this and stay off your feet tomorrow." She handed me a small vial of green ooze as I finished tying my robe. "Cullen?" She called just as I took the vial and sniffed it. I cringe at the smell but she ignores it. "I want you to take her back to her room. And tomorrow I would like you to watch her. If she tries anything reckless… well you know what to do."

A roll of my eyes I walk past the two of them. "I can get back to my rooms on my own…" I feel myself go light headed, my knees want to buckle but Cullen was there. His hands holding me back up on my feet. "You're not fine." I groan and with the help of Cullen, we walked out of Wynne's room and down the hall.

At least this time he isn't carrying me.

* * *

The next morning I woke up in my small bed. Which was only apart of a series of bunk beds that surrounded the entire large hall made for Mage Apprentices. The young men had their own rooms and the young women had their own. As for the children they had their own little hall. I suppose the moment we hit puberty, they had to separate us. It still didn't stop most of the other Apprentices. I had heard rumors upon rumors about whose done who. Or who is the cutest boy? Or who is dating who? Whatever, really.

I just didn't care.

I was serious about what I was doing. I wanted to become an amazing mage and help people. Either in combat or either doing something else. I didn't care about romance, love or just being with someone.

"'Morning."

I yawn, stretching my arms above my head as I swing my feet over the side of my bed. Running my fingers through my hair I look up to see a Templar standing in front of me. One I have seen on numerous occasions but I never really gave him a second glance. Just as how I never gave any of the other Templars a second glance.

"'Morning," I mutter under my tired yawn.

"At least you're awake."

"Excuse me?"

"Ser Cullen asked me to watch over you. Until he returned."

"Oh…"

I move to my feet, waving a little as I stand up. Just remembering what had happened the night before. Jowan was so powerful. I had always remembered he wasn't as strong as I was, but he was decent. He shouldn't have been able to burst through my shield but he did. I waver a little on my feet as I walk towards the washroom area. The Templar was on my heels, something that I didn't find odd what so ever. It was almost like having a moving shadow following me wherever I went. Something that all Mages in the Tower get used too after awhile.

"You are acquaintances with that mage… Anders, I think that's his name. No?"

"Anders?"

That name makes me stop in my tracks. For as long as I had been in the Tower, Anders has always been known for making his escapes. So far he's escaped six times, and every time they catch him. It's those blasted phylacteries. When a young mage is brought in from outside of the Tower, the Templar take some of their blood. Adding some Lyrim and with the help of the First Enchanter they are able to create a sort of tracking essence. It traps a little piece of us within it. But from what I have always understood, only Templars could use it. Which was how Anders was always caught… Idiot.

"What about him?"

"I'll take that answer that you know of him."

"So?"

"We captured him a few days ago in a small village of Lothering."

Maker help me, I continue on my way towards the washroom.

"He didn't put up much of a fight."

Of course he wouldn't. Why would we want to fight a group of men who could easily drain us of our mana, use almost our entire arsenal of magic against us and well, they are quite the sight to see when they fight… not that I would watch them. Okay, I may have snuck in on a few of their practices with some of the other girls but that was a long time ago.

"It's a funny thought," he stopped in his tracks. I find myself stopping with him, just in time to turn around and see him pull his helmet off. I had seen him before. He was one of the few I had seen practicing. Short cropped dark hair, a little stubble covering his chin and even those laughing silver colored eyes. I want to sigh a little at the sight, but he smiles. He seemed to sense what I was feeling but I ignore it. Shoving it to the little corner of my mind. I turn back around, letting my face cool after seeing who he was exactly. "Every time we catch him, he just escapes again."

Of course he does. Anders was one person whom no one understood. Irving thought he understood him, but everyone was wrong. He doesn't try to relate to anyone. He never tried to be friends with anyone. He may have put on a happy-go-lucky front, but I was one of the few who caught him in his worse.

It was late during the night when I caught him. He was silently sitting under the light within the Library, just before his first escape attempt. I didn't know who he was but he was reading a book. A book about the places around the world. Some of them probably didn't exist anymore, but it wasn't like he cared. I had come there because I left my bag of components behind after my lesson. He didn't notice me until was too late. He already had the tears in his eyes. The quiet sobs. I had stood there for a few moments, watching him. Until something just clicked inside of my head. My body moved on it's own. I sat down on the floor in front of him. I took the book from his hands. He looked down to me, apart of me wanted to smile but I didn't budge. Instead he just took my hands and held them. He might have been older than me by a few years. I may have just known him through his reputation within the Circle. I didn't mind just sitting there, quietly, with the one person I never thought to meet again.

It was after that night that he started to talk to me. He would walk up to me after a lesson and just carry on a random conversation with me. That continued until he tried to get me to runaway with him. I told him he was insane. They would catch us instantly. Anders had shrugged and stated that he didn't care. At least he'll get to see something other than the walls of the Tower for a short while. I smiled and told him good luck. The next day he was gone and I had never felt so alone in my life. Jowan had told me he was bad news, no matter how I saw it.

I enjoyed Anders' company. Despite what the other mages had thought of it.

But the Templar seemed to have already known of our closeness. "You two were close, yes?"

I stop in front of the wash basin. Cool water was already within the porcelain basin but I sigh a little looking down into the water's reflection. "Yes." I reply quietly.

"I'm sorry… I shouldn't have brought him up." I look up, the mirror before me reflected his gaze back into my own.

"Ser Caidan."

That voice? I turn around just in time to see the person behind the voice.

"Uh… Ser Cullen?"

Cullen, the Templar who is seemed has taken it upon himself to watch over me for the next few days until my Harrowing. His red hair glinting off the candle lights, he too had the same little bit of stubble across his chin and above his lips. I find myself drawn in little by little. He was attractive, I had to at least admit this fact. But I ignore the feeling. I quickly turn back around and splash the water across my face. Wanting to drown myself within the small basin. Which was nearly impossible, when I thought about it.

"You can return to your post."

"Are you sure?"

There was concern in the other Templar's voice. Something I had noticed was shared between all of them. They treated each other as brothers, siblings in a manner of profession. It was kind of nice, I guess.

"Just go."

It wasn't quite a demand but it was a sharp tone.

"It's was a pleasure speaking with you, Miss Amell."

Turning around, I give him my best carefree smile but it didn't reach my eyes. Something he seemed to catch quite quickly as he too returns something close. A bow of the head, he puts his helmet back on and leaves. Leaving both Cullen and I alone.

"He's a little forward, but he's a good guy." Cullen watched him leave as he turned his focus back upon me. "How are you?" He sounded genuinely concerned, something I thought was rare within the Templar ranks.

"I'm fine." I respond quietly.

He seemed okay with that response, at least for the time being. "I'll be around the corner. Finish what you have to do and well…" A confused look crossed his eyes as he turned around to leave me by myself. I want to smile a little but I was still in pain. It hurt all the way down to my very core. Not so unusual when I thought about it. Mana was important, apart of our system and well when a mage was drained all the way down to their breaking point… it hurt. Like a dull ache, right in the very depth of our souls.

I took my time bathing and brushing my hair. I ran my finger over my teeth quickly as I debate with myself. Either take the extra time to pull my hair up or just leave it be. I wasn't planning on using any magic, I figured I'd find a quiet place to read and just go with it until the Harrowing.

Flicking my hair over my shoulder I decide go with it down for the rest of the day. Walking around, the corner a sigh escapes me. "I'm ready." I let out quietly.

"I uh… Well…"

It looked like he turned completely red from head to toe. Or at least his face was a little pink. From what I remember anyone who was apart of the Chantry took a vow of chastity. Something not so uncommon, I guess.

"Are you alright?"

"I… umm, well I'm fine."

"Are you sure? You look a little… flushed."

For the first time since last night he actually looked away from me. He turned his gaze and wanted something a little more interesting to look at. At least that didn't hurt my feelings. "What do you have planned today?" He finally found something to ask me even if his gaze wasn't meeting my own.

"I think I'll go to the library. Maybe go through some scrolls. Study up on something useful at least."

I truly had no idea what to expect from the Harrowing. None of us do until we go through it. If you fail, you never return. If you never even go through with it? They turn you into a Tranquil. I almost shiver at the thought of losing all of my emotions. Being turned into a mindless drone… it wasn't something that I looked forward too. I doubted than none of us do. Except for those that actually volunteered.

"Shall we then?"

"Okay."

It was after the next couple of days, of quietly keeping to myself and studying that I had come to actually get used to Cullen. It was over the course of those few days that he had started to open up to me. Telling me all about his life. How he didn't know who his parents were. How he had grown up within the Chantry. And even how he had volunteered to serve within the Circle of Magi's Tower. I had asked him why. But I never did get a straight answer out of him.

It wasn't until the day of my Harrowing that Jowan approached me. I was quietly flipping through the last of my study notes. Alone within a small study just down the hall from the Library. Cullen had finally left my side, approving of my recovery rate I hoped at least. Even to the fact that he had returned to his posts. But it was the look Jowan gave me as he stood across the small desk from me.

"I'm worried about you." The concern knit across his brow almost made me a little annoyed.

"Why?" I set my notes down. Not bothering to get up from where I was sitting.

"People are talking about you and that… that Templar."

"Let them talk." I stated simply.

"What's going on, Estelle?" He leaned forward, both hands planted firmly upon the desk. I want to stand up, but my legs are shaking. I don't like rumors. I especially didn't like rumors that involved myself.

"Wynne asked him to watch me for a few days and well, he took her request literal." It was an excuse but really? I was starting to enjoy his company with the passing of the few days.

"He did?" Jowan was just as confused as I was. He stood up straighter and crossed his arms. "That's… unusual."

He had a point but I didn't feel like talking about this. I move to my feet quickly, ignoring the butterflies in my stomach. "Does it matter?" My voice was harsh, but I had every right.

"It should." He retorted.

"Well, it doesn't." I walk past, even letting my shoulder brush against his as I go to the doorway.

"It's none of my business, but please… be careful." He pleaded quietly. I heard his words but I simply chose to ignore them. It was easier that way, I guess.

* * *

"You are to escort her to the Harrowing Chamber." Cullen blinked at the Knight-Commander. Not quite sure what he was asking. "Why me, ser?"

That wasn't exactly the seasoned Knight-Commander was expecting for an answer. But it was the young man standing before him. One that he had personally watched over since he came to Tower. Cullen was a remarkable Templar. What had impressed the most was how he treated the Mages. He treated them like people and not just something dangerous. Not many were like that within the Tower.

But it wasn't just how he was treating them. Nor was it about his skills. It was the rumors he had been hearing. That Cullen and the young mage Amell had something going on. The Commander never really listened to them. But he had seen them together one night in the library. Amell was quietly reading to herself but it was the look upon Cullen's face that had told him the rumors could have been possible. Either on one side of their relationship or on both. He truly didn't know. The young woman didn't seem as enraptured as Cullen was but they seemed to connect on a whole other level.

Something the Commander himself had felt before. Something that he sort of wished he'd forget about.

"I do not need a reason, Ser Cullen." His voice quelled the uneasy look within the other Knight's eyes. "You're to follow my commands without question. Do you understand?"

The young Knight blanched. But he received a simple curt nod as an answer. "Good, now she should be in the Library. Bring her up as soon as you find her."

Cullen left briskly from the Knight-Commander's office. Apart of him felt sick. He had never once been present during a Harrowing but he knew how they worked. The Mage in question would enter the fade. It was a test to overcome the temptation of a Demon. If they failed they became Abominations. Then slain by a Templar chosen for the task.

It was dangerous. For both Mages and Templars.

His thoughts kept drifting in and out, though. Since the first moment he had seen Estellise Amell, he had always been confused. She had such dark looks but it was the creamy color of her skin, those dark soulful eyes when she met his eye contact. And it was those lips… they were so plump, so luscious. He would always find himself drawn in by her. The way her hips would swerve when she walked through the halls of the Tower. Or how her robes wound fit so snugly around her body. She was truly a remarkable beauty, even the other Templars had started talking about her.

It was at that moment that he found himself falling for her. Even if she didn't know who he was, he didn't mind so much. As long as he could at least watch over her.

But this was asking too much. He didn't want to be the one who had to lead her to her Harrowing. He didn't want to be the one who had to lead her to her death. Even as that moment crossed his mind, he realized, that he did not want to be the one to strike her down if she turned into an Abomination.

He let his feet take him through the quiet halls of the Tower and down the steps to the lowest floor. There he knew he would find her, curled up in her favorite chair reading or writing. Or even at the tables organizing her spell components. She was so serious all the time. But sometimes he would catch her humming to herself. She seemed so happy when she was by herself.

Cullen eventually found her, just as he thought he would. Quietly rummaging through her spell components, humming a small tune to herself. As if the rest of the Tower didn't exist but just her.

"Amell." Her name was starting to sound so natural out of his mouth.

"Oh!" She had stopped her rummaging and looked up. It was his reflection in those dark irises that made apart of him feel guilty. "Cullen?"

"It's… time." The words left his mouth but it felt like someone else was speaking.

"Oh…" She looked down. Her eyes drifted down to the top of the table. "Then why are you…" She looked up to him once more. This time he knew her question.

"I'm here to escort you to the Harrowing Chamber."

"Do I have to leave now?"

"Yes… I'm sorry."

She looked away, her eyes had closed but he knew what she was feeling. She was nervous. She was afraid and she had every right to be. She had no idea what was in store for her.

She stood up slowly. Gathering her things and strapping her components to her waist. She wasn't prepared but then most weren't.

Her hair had been tied loosely to the back of her head. He liked it when it hung down past her shoulders, but the way she looked now. He sighed softly to himself. She was impressive.

He led the way, letting her trail quietly behind him. His great sword was strapped to his back, it was a forever reminder of what was going to happen up there. He was fearful, afraid for her. But she didn't know, not until they reached the top.

The moment before they reached the last set of stairs. He paused just before the door. She was nervous, he didn't have to turn around to see her fingers twisting together. Or the way she would continuously tuck her hair behind her ears. Even the moments when she would nibble on her plump bottom lip nervously. She was remarkable. Every part of him wanted to turn around to see her, but there wasn't time to drink every inch of her in.

The door opened easily under his touch. He heard her nibble quietly from behind him, he wanted to tell her it would be okay. That he would be there to watch over her. Then that just sounded horrid in his mind. "Ser Cullen." When he heard his name spoken, he took a deep breath and let her walk in past him. "Stand here, next to Ser Caidan."

The other Templar didn't look at him. He was quietly watching Amell as she was being explained as to what she was to go through. But Caidan always had a large fascination with Estellise. He had caught the other Templar watching her, sneaking glances when she was changing. Or when she was walking out of the shower. He always had that look in his eyes. It made Cullen a little queasy standing next to him.

Estellise listened but suddenly she blanched. Her gaze drifted towards the pile of raw Lyrim sitting in the middle of a basin. When she agreed to it, she touched the Lyrim. A rush hit all of them, it was almost intoxicating. The sensation was amazing. It was a feeling that only a Templar could ever appreciate.

"Cullen," the Commander turned around just as soon as her body hit the ground. "Come here."

He moved to stand next Irving. The First Enchanter had always liked Amell. He had always doted over her, which drove most of the Senior Enchanters crazy. "You are to deal the death blow." Greagoir never met Cullen's gaze.

Cullen knew that this was something he couldn't just say no to. There was that chance she could awaken as an Abomination. His hand reached up the hilt of his sword. It was released quickly as he took his stance. Knowing that the moment she awoken he would have to move quickly.

Time passed. The quiet of the Chamber was driving him insane. He was sweating underneath all of his armor. His gloves felt heavy. His sword was heavy. His whole body was rigid. Then he felt a hand on his shoulder. It belonged to the First Enchanter Irving. "It's alright." Confusion spread across his gaze as his arms relaxed. "She has passed." He wanted to ask how he knew. But he knew he would never get an answer out of him.

His sword easily clipped back into place as he relaxed. "Cullen, take her back to the Apprentice halls."

Without a second thought he bent down and scooped her up into his arms. She was light, just as she was when he first did this. But it was her sleeping, calm face that made him smile a little himself. She looked so peaceful. Something he had never thought he'd see.

He walked her quietly down each set of stairs. He could hear the voices of the mages he passed. He knew what they had been saying. But he didn't care. She had passed, that was all he cared about.

When he finally reached the halls he set her down in her bed gently. She groaned under her breath and turned over. He smiled, his hand lifted to brush a strand of hair from her face.

She passed. That was all that matters.

* * *

"Are you insane?" I stood across from Jowan. It was the day after my Harrowing and well, it wasn't what I expected. However I completed it quickly and even Jowan told me, the second I woke up, that it was the fastest Harrowing in the Circle's history. But now, I stand across from Jowan and the initiate Lily. She was petite, commonly and whenever she looked at Jowan I knew she felt everything they were saying.

The very second I woke up, I was told by Jowan to go see Irving. It was there that I was greeted by Greagoir, Irving and the Grey Warden Commander Duncan. I was promoted from Apprentice to full fledge Mage. Given new robes and my own room. But before I could even go and gather all of my things I was asked to escort Duncan to his rooms. It was easy enough, really. He was quiet, didn't ask me too many questions and when I made to leave he asked me about the Wardens. If I would be interested in joining them. Apart of me liked the idea but then there was that other half… the half that wanted stay. I felt complete now that I was a Mage.

I was never really given a chance to answer, when Jowan came running in asking me to come with him. I had excused myself from Duncan and followed Jowan all the way to the Chantry within the Tower.

It wasn't unusual that the Chantry was empty. Except for Keili, she was always there. Praying at the altar. Thinking she was just a walking sin. As usual I just ignored her and followed Jowan towards a young woman. Whom I had seen periodically around the halls. A very few initiates stayed within the Tower. Except she was nervously standing in the corner, twisting her hands around. Looking up just in time to see both Jowan and I coming towards her.

I was pulled into a corner roughly by the elbow. He was shouting at me, but I was to busy taking in this Lily of his. She was staring at me, questioning everything that was going through my mind until I heard the plan.

"No." I stated clearly. "This is absolute insanity."

"I need your help." Jowan grabbed for her hand, holding it tightly within his own. "We need your help."

"You want me, to go find a rod of fire. Then I have to go with you into the Cellar of the Tower and help you find your phylactery… that is absolute insanity!" I throw my hands up and turn my back on the two of them.

"Please…" Lily's voice was sweet. She was quiet. "We can't do this alone and from what Jowan tells me… you would do anything for him."

I was starting to hate her. But she was right, I would gladly do anything to see Jowan happy. "Fine, I'll do it."

What was I thinking! I grimace, closing my eyes even feeling Jowan's hand on my shoulder. "Thank you, Estelle." I shake it off and storm away.

As I leave the Chantry, I collide smack into a body of armor. "Estellise?" That voice.

"Cullen?"

I look up to see him smiling. "Are you alright?"

I want to say no but I knew if we were ever caught or if he ever knew, he would have to tell his superiors the plan.

"Oh… uh… I'm fine." I mutter, wrapping my fingers within each other. "I just, I need to go see Owain."

I move to walk past him but before I could even move a few feet, his hand stops me. Just a simple grip around the upper part of my arm, stops me. "No, you're not fine."

I want to look at him. I truly want to look at him. But I can't. "I'm sorry. I can't talk right now." In three shakes his hand lets go and I start to walk quickly towards the stairs leading to the second floor. Owain would need permission from a Senior Enchanter. He didn't follow but I could hear him calling my name. Ignoring it, I head for Owain.

After two hours of running errands and flying through the Underground part of the Tower. We found Jowan's phylactery. He easily destroyed it by smashing it to the ground. I feel apart of myself wanting to reach for my own but I know it wasn't there. They had already sent it to Denerim.

Just as we were running out the door. An entire platoon of Templars were standing before us. "What's going on?" Irving, Greagoir, Duncan and even Cullen were standing there.

I found myself refusing to meet Cullen's gaze. I know what he was thinking. I should have told him. I should have explained was being asked of me. I couldn't betray Jowan… I just couldn't. But when I steal a glance in his direction, there was worry there. Until I felt the pressure. Before I can even look to Jowan and Lily, she is thrown backwards and I was being tackled. The large frame above me, covered me as blood sprayed from Jowan's wrists. He was shouting out words, magical words. Until I hear the screaming, Lily was screaming. Completely covered in Jowan's blood.

"Let's go, Lily!" He was shouting. But I was completely in a daze from the crushing tackle and the smothering form above me.

"No! I'm not going with you!" She screamed.

"But… But, why?" I can hear the sorrow in his words.

"Because of what you are!" She shouted at him. I can hear her crumply to the floor, her knees smacking into the stone. "I hate… I hate…. I hate you." She sobbed.

"What's… what's going on?" I mutter.

"Are you okay?" That voice.

"Cullen?" I look up to see Cullen looking down to me. He was so close to me, I want nothing more than to just… to just… no! I shake my head.

"Are you okay?" He asked me again, this time he didn't sound as concerned as he was before. But he was smiling. It was almost refreshing.

"I can't really… breathe." I laugh a little.

"Oh!" I have never seen a man in full armor move so gracefully. "How's that?" He asks as he stands over me.

I smile, looking up to him as he offers a hand to help me up to my feet. "Good." I look around this time, getting a full view of Jowan gone and Lily being dragged away crying and covered in blood.

"Now for Estellise." I can hear Knight-Command Greagoir. As all eyes fall upon me. "Yes, about her." Duncan's voice cuts through as he easily makes his way through Greagoir.

"I would like to here by conscript her into the Wardens." I blink. What?

"Excuse me?" Greagoir easily turns on Duncan. "What right do you have to-"

"I believe he has the right, Greagoir." The First Enchanter easily steps forward. His calming voice does not hide his disappoint of me. "I will allow it."

"Fine." The bitterness in Greagoir's voice did not hide his distaste for this act. "But Cullen will be going with you."

"Another Templar would help." I stand there, as if I was just another decoration but apart of me smiles a little. "But he is still dependent upon the Lyrim."

"That's easily fixed." Irving produced a small blue vial from under his robes and tossed it towards Cullen. Whom caught it easily. "Take this within 24 hours after your last dose of Lyrim."

I grip my staff tightly in my hands. I want to scream at all of them. But the rules of being Conscripted, I had no choice. "Alright," Duncan moved forward. "We shall leave immediately."

Apart of me wants to scream and yell, to throw things but I hold it back. I find myself looking to the ground. Jowan was a blood mage. Lily was still screaming in the halls. I feel betrayed but I choke back everything I was feeling.

"Go and gather your things, my dear." Irving's hands are on my shoulders. I can't bring myself to look up to him. "Everything will be okay."

A simple nod and I am walking away. I am walking away from everything. My home. My life. And now I was starting a new life, as a Grey Warden.

But at least I wasn't alone.

I look over my shoulder to see the form of Cullen, walking away in the opposite direction. He too had his head down. I feel horrible for dragging him into this but I smile a little.

By the time I was packed, Duncan was already waiting. Cullen had changed out of his Templar armor and was wearing a basic set of chain mail, his sword was strapped to his back. Along with his backpack. I feel so out of place traveling with the two of them.

"Are you ready?" Duncan turns to look to me.

I give him a nod and we head off. This would be my first time out of the Tower since I was four years old.

And now? Now my life will change, either for the good or for the worse. I truly don't know.


	2. CHAPTER ONE: OSTAGAR

**A/N: **The next chapter! I hope all of you enjoy it! And thank you to **LibraMoon** for your review! That was very sweet! I also want to point out this fic is rated M for a reason. In a few more chapters there will be some fun Cullen and Amell action! Also, this was sort of just thrown out. So I apologize if it is a little harder to read. It'll be more amusing later on! I hope you enjoy it and please review!

**DISCLAIMER:** I do not own Dragon Age, it belongs to Bioware. This story is of my own little creation, I just borrow the characters - tis all!

* * *

When we first arrived, I couldn't believe my eyes. Sure, this place was impressive. But it was the sight of seeing all the soldiers. It was as if every single male and female who could wield a sword was here. Though, a very small part of me doubted they had little say in the matter. If there really was a Blight, like Duncan says. Then the King was left very little choice. He had to do this, despite the odds against them.

"Ho' Duncan!" A cheery cry brings me out of my dreary thoughts as we come a stop before a group of soldiers.

"You're majesty, I wasn't expecting to see you." Duncan's normally confidant voice was now just a simple one of surprise.

"That's the King?" I whisper to Cullen who was standing just in front of me.

"Be respectful, Estelle." When has he started calling me Estelle? Not everyone calls me that. Only Jowan, but I don't mind I suppose.

"And these must be your new recruits." He shifts his gaze to mostly Cullen, as if he was sizing him up.

"My name is Cullen, your majesty." Cullen bows, his arms cross before his chest as he moves aside.

I slightly hate him for that.

"And you… you must be from the Circle?" When I meet his gaze, he smiles. I can already feel the heat rise to my face.

"Umm… y-y-yes, you're majesty." I barely get out before he smiles a little wider. It was an almost like he was glowing in all that gold armor.

"And you're name, may I ask?" Cullen shifts his weight, uneasy at my side, as the King closes the small distance between us.

"Estellise Amell, your majesty." I drop my gaze to the ground. My chin falls to my chest but it suddenly brought up again. This time by a gloved hand. When my gaze meets Cailan's own again, I feel like I'll explode from the embarrassment.

"A very beautiful name, for a beautiful young woman." I don't normally fall for charmers but I can tell he has practice with these sort of things.

"T-t-thank you, your m-m-majesty." I am such an idiot. I'm a big, big idiot.

"Now, I must return to Loghain. He is eager to bore me with his tactics." When he drops his hand, he touches my shoulder thoughtfully. Before he moves to walk away.

"You're Uncle sends word that his troops will arrive within the week, you're majesty." I had completely forgot about the small stop in Redcliffe on the way here. Though that would make sense we did stop there. Eammon was the Uncle to the King but only through marriage.

"Ah, well." Cailan laughs but I don't see what's so funny about this.

"We should get back, it was a pleasure meeting the both of you." We both cross our hands over our chests when he leaves us.

Duncan sighs, something I found he does often. "He doesn't understand…" He mutters to himself.

"Doesn't understand?" Cullen overheard him. I still feel myself wanting nothing more than to faint.

"This is a real Blight… I have seen it." He looks to us both his gaze was dark but it relaxes a bit when he sees the confusion.

Grey Wardens have their secrets. It is never truly understood why Grey Wardens are needed to end a Blight but they have always been known as great heroes. Though from the history books, they were never allowed to return after they tried to over throw the king at one time. It was Maric, the father of Cailan, that brought their order back.

"Well, you two should go get something to eat. Maybe explore the Camp for a bit." He looks away just in time to see a group of patrol soldiers coming our way. One of them was dressed in green heavy chain mail and a shield to his back.

"My Lord Cousland." My eyes must have gone wide with surprise when Cullen deftly moves me aside from the path of horses.

"Duncan!" The younger man standing behind the one in charge stepped around to clasp hands. "It's good to see you again."

"My Lord Aedan, I had no idea you were here." Duncan was surprised. Just like before I noticed he doesn't get this way very often.

"Father insisted that I come along, leaving our little sister behind to man the estate." He sighs as he lets go of Duncan's arm.

"Though she is hardly complaining." The older one laughs from behind the two of them.

"He does have a point there." I smile a little.

"Your father's troops should be arriving soon, yes?" Duncan looks from Aedan to the other. "I have yet to see Arl Howe's troops."

"Fergus thinks they're taking their sweet time. Leaving all the fighting to us." Aedan sighs, though he smiles through the sigh.

"That is disappointing." Cullen speaks up suddenly.

"Ha! You're right, it is!" Aedan's excited cry causes me to laugh.

"Come on, brother, we should be heading into the wilds." Fergus grips his brother's shoulder and with another clasp of arms. Both men take their leave of Duncan and us.

"Cousland? As in the Teryn of Highever?" I look to Cullen as he searches Duncan for answers.

"Yes." The answer was curt but Cullen knows better than to push it.

"As I said before, go explore for awhile and see if you can find Alistair. He is a new Grey Warden, he'll give you the assignment."

Cullen may have nodded but I look away. In fact my gaze drifts upward. Toward a large tower that is standing over the entire area. Duncan leaves us, as I hear Cullen shift his weight again.

"You're feeling better." He remarks.

My gaze drops landing upon Cullen. His gaze had darkened a little and I'm a tad confused as to why.

"What?" I blink, I hate feeling confused.

"It's nothing." He looks away. There was something wrong but I don't bother with it.

"So Alistair?" I ask. He shrugs, this time I smile slightly. I may not understand him but he seems to get the idea.

We were stuck together, despite what was happening.

I follow him as we walk quietly through the large gates and past the Tower. I can feel his uneasiness. We had no idea was to become of us, he didn't express the need to talk about it and neither did I.

His pace slows as we cross the bridge and up the stairs into the encampment. I get a few stares and most of the soldiers easily keep their distance. I know what they were thinking, it made sense. Magic made everyone who didn't understand it, uneasy. Though the only ones I have never seen uneasy were the Templars. They glare. They use their angry looks to scare us into submission but I know not all of them feel that way.

Even as this thought comes to mind, I look up to the back of Cullen's head. He was keeping his distance from me. He had been since we left the Tower. I would speak quietly with Duncan through the nights we were on the road.

He wasn't surprised when he asked if this was my first time out of the tower. He asked if I had family but I told him that I didn't. But he had this way about him. That would make anyone want to talk to him. To tell them your worries, no matter the consequences. I enjoyed his company but it was the quiet looks Cullen would give me from across the campfire that I was confused over.

It was almost as if he wanted to be the one communicating with me. Though I had tried more than once to ask him some questions. I got barely a response out of him before he stutters and loses track of what he was asked about.

It was almost adorable when I think about it.

My mind was completely off track because we find Alistair arguing with a Mage I had recognized as one of the Senior Enchanters. He was always the grumpiest one. I was glad I wasn't the one on the other end of that conversation.

It was almost as if the argument was only one side. Not exactly shared it would seem.

But it soon ends when Cullen clears his throat. Bringing the Mage out of his aggressive stance and his gaze upon Cullen.

"Another Templar!" I swallow back the fact I feel slightly uneasy. At least I wasn't in direct view.

"Hasn't the Chantry asked enough of us, already? But to send another Templar after us… This is just ridiculous." He throws his hands up.

"It is not ridiculous." Cullen throws back. But his voice was calm. "And I am not here for Chantry business. I am here for the Wardens."

Truer words had never been spoken.

"Is that so?" He raises a brow. "Fine, I'll do it."

He stalks off, not after he shoves me aside in the process. I nearly topple over but Cullen was there, holding me still. His hands on my shoulders but it was the sight of seeing the other Mage stalk off in an angry fashion. It was a little amusing.

"You know? One good thing about a Blight is how it brings people together." I can hear Alistair's witty remark behind me.

"Excuse me?" Cullen's hands quickly drop from my shoulders.

"You're a very strange man." I move in front of Cullen as we both turn around.

"You're not the first beautiful woman to tell me so." I feel the heat rise in my cheeks again. Slightly aware of Cullen's shifting again.

"You both must be the new recruits from the Tower, yes?" He looks between the two of us. Completely oblivious to the fact I was completely red from head to toe.

"Alistair, correct?" Cullen moves away from behind me. Keeping his distance from me.

"Yes, yes. Sorry about that before. I used to be a Templar but now… well, it's a bit awkward." Alistair actually laughs a bit uneasy.

"Ser Cullen and Estellise Amell, correct? You're both from the Tower… so that must mean you're a…" He spaces off when his gaze meets my own. I seem to understand what he was getting at.

"Yes, I'm a mage." I clarify. But it was when his gaze drifts between my own and Cullen's.

"Then what did you do to get here?" I blink, completely unaware of what he was asking. Except he was looking to Cullen for that answer.

"I did nothing." He says quickly.

"Maybe I should…" I start to move away from the two of them. When my stomach growls… quite loudly.

"Get something to eat maybe?" Alistair's brow quirks up but I look away for a second. A little embarrassed.

"No… I just… uh…" Before I can make up an excuse I was walking away. In fact I was almost running all the way down the steps. I have never felt so nervous my entire life, but it was embarrassing to have my stomach growl in front of the two of them.

My pace slows when I come face to face with another. He had this look in his eyes that made me stop dead in my tracks. "Excuse me…" I look up but he doesn't say much, just smiles… like a damn fool.

"You're the new recruit. You're not what I expected." His arms cross in front of him. But he was actually looking me up and down.

"What was it you were expecting?" I step back a little. My hands covering my stomach, to maybe muffle the sound.

"Not a woman. Nor a mage." His smile doesn't fade but he does however still have that look in his eyes.

"I'm sorry?" I feel myself getting flustered but he laughs.

"I'm Daveth," he clarifies.

"I'm Estellise," I return.

"Well then, do you know anything about the this ritual they're putting us through?" I shake my head but he doesn't stop smiling. Why is he smiling so much?

"I hear they're making us go into the Wilds." His smile fades a little.

"The Wilds?" I have heard of them. It was said the Chasind ran those woods. Amongst other unsavory things.

"Yeah, but why I don't know." He sighs and drops his guarded stance. His smile warms up though.

"Well if that means you're here, then I should go see Duncan." Before I can say anything else I watch him walk off. A little skip in his step as he turns around to wave to me. I lift my hand, returning the wave as I walk up the steps as the smell of food wafts towards me.

I almost float towards the smell but just as soon as I stop I can hear the Priest speaking the words of Blessing upon a group of soldiers. I can already see through the small group, Cullen and the other Templar Alistair. They were busily speaking with another. Though I know better than to walk up them and interrupt.

I follow the smell and find a small group of men eating around a campfire. They all bore the shields of the Couslands so I guess it wasn't a small world. They seem to sense my presence when they look up. That all too knowing smile.

Before I can say anything I was being pulled down and handed a bowl of something I don't know what to call it. They all start to talk. I was just another person at the fire, to them. Nothing more and nothing else.

I finished a few more bowls of stew and they laugh, welcoming me back again after the battle. I told them all that I wouldn't miss it for the world.

As I walk back in the general direction of where I came from. The slope was almost a welcomed greeting from all the steps I had to take just to get here.

I can hear the barking in the distance. Ferelden was always known for their dogs. They are greatly respected amongst our society. Most other nations find it distracting or sometimes I've heard Orlesian Mages complain about the smell.

"Excuse me!" I know I was being shouted at. But it was the sound of crying that makes me stop.

My feet take me to the edge of a small kennel. I can see the painful look on the poor animal's face. He was a mabari but it was as if he was sad. He was depressed and even though I couldn't understand what he was thinking. Mabari were like that. Smart, intelligent and had the strange ability to understand complex commands.

"Will you help?" I had no idea this guy was talking to me. In fact he had asked me to do something.

"Help?" I ask but he smiles a little. His eyes reminded me of the Mabari's. They were sad.

"Muzzle him… so I can give him medicine." I step back but when I look at the Mabari. I can feel his pain.

"Sure." He hands me the muzzle as I walk through the gate. He keeps his distance from me but when I bend down I offer him my hand. At first he looked like he was going to bite me but then he sniffs my hand. Before long I was making soft cooing noises and he is stalking towards me. His eyes soften as he lets me run my fingers across his fur. It was soft, warm and coarse but he doesn't budge. He lets me pet him and before long he lets me but the muzzle on him.

When I leave the Kennel Master tells me about the imprinting and if I find this flower he'll do that with me. At first I don't know if I can or if I'll have the time to take care of an animal. But when I think hard on it, Mabari weren't normal dogs. They were smart, powerful and well they can practically take care of themselves.

"Sure, I'll look for the flowers." I find myself saying.

He smiles wide enough to make me smile but he nods in return.

I leave him, moving towards the large bon fire in the midst of Duncan's campsite. He was in deep conversation with Alistair and Cullen. Amongst them were two others: Daveth and someone else. He looked like a freaking Tank but I would never say that to his face. Bad. Idea.

"Ah, there you are." I am greeted by a smile by Duncan but the others give me an uneasy look.

"Sorry." I mutter, but I keep my distance from the group of them. I suddenly become aware of the fact I was the only female standing there.

"It's alright," Duncan assures me.

"Now, I had been explaining to the rest as to what you are to do." I look to Cullen but he was adverting my gaze. I am getting very annoyed of this.

"You are to go into the Wilds and find Darkspawn blood."

"Surely, you've found some before?" I ask.

"Well, yes but we need fresh blood." So this was the ritual. I suddenly realize it may have a tie with Blood Magic. But I don't say this.

"And you are to find some documents. They should be locked up in an old Warden Tower." It was probably in ruins now but if it is the only one around here, then it should be easy to find.

"Finely, some action!" Daveth released an exuberating shout.

I want to roll my eyes but I can't help it. I was not looking forward to the idea of running through the wilds. But we really weren't left much choice.

Just as we were heading through the gate I felt this sickening in my stomach. I could feel the magical barrier. It was almost so evident that I look up to the only two people in the group that would be able to feel it. But they didn't budge. So I don't really want to bring it up.

We practically flew through the small section of wilderness. I had captured some of the Darkspawn blood in the magical vials that Duncan had provided. I had just the right amount until I heard Ser Jory shuffle behind me. He didn't like fighting the Darkspawn but who could blame him. They made us all a little uneasy.

He didn't like magic either. When we had stopped for a breather, he kept his distance from me. He never once looked me in the eye. I guess I should be used to it, but if we are to work and fight side by side. Either way, I don't care. I want to get this over with.

We find the tower and yet it was overrun by Darkspawn. As we fight, we win. I was impressed seeing Cullen swing that giant weapon of his. When it connects, they are sent flying through the air. I learned to time my spells with his attacks. He sends them flying, I send the spells and then he blocks their attacks coming my way. We worked well together, despite the fact we were so very different.

After the fall of the last Darkspawn, I stop. Leaning most of my weight against my staff, I take a breath.

"You can lean on me," I hear Daveth from behind me. I jump a little startled.

"Are you alright?" Alistair shoots Daveth an uneasy glare but I pretend that I don't catch it.

"I'm fine, I just need a break." My body collapsed under me as I rest back on the soft grass. It was so warm. It was nice, yet I can smell the blood from the bodies around us.

My stomach turns.

Before I know it, I was running away from the site and behind a tree. Heaving up the dinner I had only an hour before the fight.

"Are you alright?" A hand is on my back. It was almost calming.

"I'm fine…" I try to get out but it didn't help. I have never killed anything. Nothing. Darkspawn shouldn't count but they do, in my book at least.

"No, you're not." I look over my shoulder.

Cullen was standing there, his hand was on the small of my back. His eyes wrought with so much worry but I try to smile. "I've never done anything like this before." I try to explain.

He gives a smile in return but there was something there. Warmth? Concern? I don't know where or how to put it. But he doesn't give me any other response other than his smile. It was a little reassuring. His hand drops but I stand up a little straighter, when my eyes land upon the very flower I was looking for.

Pocketing it, I grip my staff in both hands. I turn around letting Cullen get a good, satisfied look. But before I can go anywhere his arms around me. My face was pressed against the cool metal of his armor. But it was his hands, the way they just were large enough to encase my entire waist. I just sigh a little but he lets go when we hear the foot steps of the others approaching.

He practically tosses me aside but I was used to it. He wasn't.

"Are you alright?" Alistair was out of breath but he was standing behind Cullen. I can see the top of his head, his light blonde hair was nice. Almost fitting with his personality.

"I'm fine. Just a little… queasy." I give them all a little smile. They seemed satisfied since we all started for the rundown tower.

The five of us split up to look for the documents. It wasn't long into it, I had located the chest but it was broken. And whatever seal that was placed upon it had worn off years ago. I really wasn't all that surprised until I felt the presence of someone else around us. I don't look up when I hear shouting from Daveth and Jory. Even Alistair was shouting at someone. But it wasn't before long that I hear a woman's voice. She wasn't exactly angry but she didn't like the idea of us being here.

"You! Mage!" Her voice was aimed in my general direction. But I don't ignore her.

"What?" I say as I stand up and turn around.

"What are you looking for?" My eyes narrow but when it came down to it. I really didn't have anything to hide. On the plus side I can also feel the magic running off of her. She was powerful, more powerful than I was.

"Documents." I state clearly.

"They're not here."

"I figured as much."

"My mother has them."

"Can you take us to her?"

"A sensible request. I like you."

I wasn't prepared for that last part. Before I could do anything I was smiling.

"Be careful." Alistair warns but I ignore him.

"Shall we?" She turns around to leave. I let my shoulders fall as I relax.

She led us through the wilds. I tried not to look at her with such amazement but it was something I couldn't avoid. She was amazing. Her hair was so dark, her skin was so clear and even the way she dressed. She was just… I couldn't tear my eyes away. I was nothing like her, but yet apart of me wanted to be.

Until I met her mother. I changed my mind completely. I wasn't stupid either. I could feel her magic. She was powerful. She was complete magic. I feel myself get a bit uneasy but I let it go. She gives us the documents, without question. None of us want to be there.

We found out the witch's name, Morrigan. Pretty name, slightly fitting when I think about it. But eventually we're completely crept out that she leads us back towards the army camp. I want to say thank you but she is gone before I can even get the words out. I stand there gaping into the space where she was once standing. Until my name was called by Alistair to follow.

It was over the course of the next few minutes that I handed the flower to the Kennel Master and told him I didn't want anything in return. I was just happy to help the poor animal. It was after this that we were told to meet Duncan and Alistair in the old Temple for our Joining.

The Joining, huh. It'll be nice to finally get this over with.

"Welcome," Duncan stood next to a large stone table. Alistair kept himself to the back of our small group.

"Since the very beginning, the Grey Wardens had sacrificed everything to fight the Darkspawn. But before they could do this, they drank the blood of the Darkspawn." I sigh, I had a feeling it would turn out this way.

"We have to drink the blood of those monsters?" Jory speaks up. He was nervous, the way he kept shifting his gaze from the goblet on the table to Duncan.

"It is how we can sense them. It is how we fight them." I could slightly understand that.

"Alistair, do us the honor of speaking the words of the first Wardens." Duncan bows his head.

We all bow our heads in turn. Except of course Jory.

"Join us, brothers and sisters. Join us in the shadows where we stand vigilant. Join us as we carry the duty that cannot be forsworn. And should you perish, know that your sacrifice will not be forgotten. And that one day we shall join you."

I can feel the words as they were being spoken. There was something heart warming about them. Strong and powerful. There was a reason why Grey Wardens were always feared on the battlefield. They will die for their cause, unlike normal soldiers.

"Daveth, step forward." Duncan takes the goblet in his hands. As he takes a single sip, he starts to shake. His body goes into convolusions. I cringe as I side step behind Cullen. He doesn't say anything as we watch him collapse on the ground, shaking and then he stops.

"I'm sorry, Daveth." Duncan closes his eyes. There was sorrow in his voice as he looks up to Jory this time around. "Ser Jory, step forward."

"N-n-no, I will not drink the blood of those monsters." His hand idly reaches for the sword upon his back. He looks between us all but his eyes land upon me. As if he thinks this is all my fault.

"I have a wife back home. I will have a son soon, I cannot do this." Jory's hands grip the hilt as he pulls it out.

Then there was fighting. Duncan was quick, faster than I ever thought he'd be. But he took a man three times his size down in one single movement. "I am sorry, Jory." He whispers into the man's ear as he falls to the ground. A mess of blood squirting from his wounds.

"Ser Cullen, step forward." I watch as the man whom I had grown accustomed to take a daring step forward. He doesn't bother looking at me, but my body moves before I can do anything. I grip his arm, my hand slides down to grip his own hand. "Live." I tell him. But he doesn't acknowledge me.

My hand drops. I want nothing more than to hug him but he doesn't look at me as he brings the goblet to his lips and takes a single sip. His doesn't budge but his eyes roll into the back of his head. "Welcome Ser Cullen." Duncan smiles down at the unconscious form of Cullen.

"Estelle?" Alistair looks to me. But I don't want to do this. I know I could easily blow this entire place to a million pieces. But the thought of being hunted for killing Grey Wardens and maybe some others wasn't worth it.

I look up to Duncan. His eyes were gentle. Something I had noticed since I had first met him. He understood my hesitation. When I give the nod, he hands me the cup.

I bring it to my lips. I pause just before I tip it back but I close my eyes. The moment it went down, my throat burns. My body is suddenly on fire. Then it goes away.

The dull pain suddenly ensues. Just before I feel myself topple over, I can hear Duncan's words of greeting.

Then everything goes black.

* * *

Dreams, they were so vivid that they brought him awake in a matter of moments. He shot up, his head smacking into the top of the tent. It shook but it didn't shift much. There were voices outside. Just enough to make him rub his eyes, the sleep drifting away until his stomach growled. It felt like years since he's eaten anything. As he moves to get out of the tent, his hand lands upon something soft. Or was it someone? He looked down.

Amell was next to him. Her eyes were closed, her hair in her eyes but it was the sight of her. She was so serene and calm. There was nothing there that make him feel like she was dangerous in anyway.

The moment her eyes fluttered open, the second her lips parted to take in a sudden awareness of what was going on and when her eyes landed upon him. "Cullen?" She speaks his name, causing him to become well aware of where his hand was.

The second he became aware of it. She became aware of it. The heat rose into his cheeks. She suddenly sat up. Her arms crossing her chest, her eyes looking away from him. He didn't need to look at her, to get that she was just as embarrassed as he was.

He never thought the first intimate touch they'd share between each other would be him, touching her breast on accident.

She moved quickly out of the tent. She was in a rush and he didn't blame her. He felt like a complete idiot. Cursing to himself he followed out of the tent. She was already sitting next Alistair, a bowl of stew in her hands, she was slurping it down. Apparently on her third bowl, which he could tell by the look Alistair was giving her.

"Amazing." He heard him blurt out as he sat down on the other side of him. "Does she always eat like that?"

A shrug of the shoulders Cullen took the bowl offered by Alistair. "Normally, yeah."

The other snorted as he dove into his own bowl just as Estellise finished her last one. "Ugh.." She touched her stomach, smiling in the process of being full. "That was soo good."

"Now that you're both awake, you three have a mission." Duncan's voice came over head as Cullen finished his meal. "How do you both feel?"

He didn't look up at first but he heard her voice. She said she was fine, a little sore but nothing more to it. It wasn't much of an answer but Duncan seemed to approve of her condition.

"The mission?" Alistair perks up. He seemed a little down after the deaths of both Daveth and Jory. Though he couldn't blame them. They were good men, worthy of the Wardens. And they would have been useful.

"Yes, you will be going with them." The other Warden stood up. Everything about his stance showed that he completely disapproved of this.

"What! Why?" Cullen sat back. He knew it was better than to get involved in something like this. It wasn't until his gaze met the tired eyes of Estellise. A sad smile on her lips, he couldn't help but return it.

"Why can't I be in the battle?" The argument could have taken a turn for the worse if Duncan wasn't the sensible man he had proved to be.

"Because we need you three to light the beacon in the Tower of Ishal." Three? That peaked his interest.

"You could send the new ones, not just me." He was whining this time. But it wasn't working. There was a reason why Duncan was doing this. But he wasn't about to tell them about it.

"No, you are to do this and wait." That was the last and final word before Duncan turned to leave.

"Oh and here," he reached into the pocket of his robe. Within in his hand was a necklace. Upon it was a chain, a small thimble of something and the craftsmanship was amazing. But he handed it to Estellise.

She grasped it between her hands. Surprised by the simple gesture. "Thank you." She expressed looking up to Duncan. A soft smile on her lips, even reached her eyes. "No one has ever given me anything before…" She looked like she about to cry but she looked away. Her gaze dropped to the necklace.

"You're welcome, Amell." Was the last thing Duncan said before he left the three of them alone before the campfire.

She clasped it in her hands tightly as they all moved to their feet. "Do you need…" Alistair started before she looked over to him.

"Yes, please?" When their hands touched apart of Cullen felt uneasy. He didn't understand why but he did. He didn't like the idea of someone else touching her. Nor did he enjoy the thought of well Alistair, being the one to do all of this.

He was behind her as she lifted her hair so he could clasp the necklace around her neck. "It's called the Oath." Alistair says as she turns around to give him a nod of thanks.

"What is left of the Darkspawn blood you drink during the Joining is made into a necklace." She dropped her hair and let it fall around her shoulders. "There wasn't enough for two, so Duncan thought you'd like it and well…" When his nervous gaze met Cullen's, Alistair's. The two of them shifted, nervously not knowing what to make of the other really.

"It's fine. Besides it looks better on her." He motioned towards Amell which he noticed the heat rise in her cheeks.

"Thank you." She speaks softly but he reaches for his balanced great sword at his feet. The large hilt felt like a nice welcome since he's been out.

"Shall we?" Alistair slipped his long sword over his shoulder and into the sheath before his shield.

The walk to the Tower wasn't much of a walk. The battle had already started the second they could hear the horns blowing. His hand was already at the hilt of his weapon as they ran across the bridge. He could hear the shouting, even the out spoken cries from Estelle as they were running. She was terrified but he knew she wasn't alone. The three of them were completely scared out of their minds.

By the time they had reached the Tower there were Darkspawn crawling over every single inch of the place. He could feel them before they even made it inside of the tower. It was this ache, in the back of his head. The feeling of cold, dull pain shooting through his entire body. He knew that this was because of the Darkspawn. Or it could have been the fact this was his first major battle. The only time he ever fought anything was a Mage who had escaped the tower.

This was completely different.

They had slaughtered every single small contingent of Darkspawn they came across within the Tower. Though they had to stop every now and again for Estelle. She was out of breath but she was firing off spells left and right. She may not believe in her strength but after the Joining she was much more stronger. He could feel the surge of magic as she unleashes a fireball over the top of his and Alistair's heads. After of course, she yells to watch out.

He would have to sit her down and explain to say watch out first and then the spell. But now really wasn't the time.

Reaching the last set of stairs they could hear the growling, howling and even the crunching of bones behind it.

"W-w-what's that?" The lone guardsman that followed them stammered out.

"I hope it isn't what I think it is." Alistair mutters behind Cullen but he knew that it could have been the case.

After a count of three they kick the door open. It swung back, making such a sound that even though they charged the giant Ogre turned on them. Letting out a tremendous growl as it's drool flew from it's mouth, landing upon them.

"Gross…" He smiled a little when he heard Amell cringe. But she was ready, she gripped her staff and set off a set of fire spells mixed with some ice spells. Cullen moved, his sword swinging upwards, colliding with some of the ice crystals. Alistair was behind him, his shield was up in front of him as he took hits for Amell. He worked well as a shield and the fact he has never really seen a man take so much damage. But he did well, he absorbed most of the attacks.

It was in a matter of seconds that truly felt like hours Cullen jumped the Ogre. His sword swinging downward into the chest. As it fell, he fell with the giant. With ease he yanked his sword out it's wound pulling it up and then it connects with the Ogre's head. There was movement and then the blood. He was sprayed from head to toe in blood as he jumped off the giant that was now laying it a pile of it's own blood.

"The beacon!" Alistair shouted from behind him.

Estellise let out a fireball, aiming right for the pile of wood. It lit up quickly, didn't take long when the smoke rose from the small area.

"Is that it?" She shouted. But then the feeling of dread rushed over him. He turned around just in time to see the Darkspawn.

They took the stairs, taking down the guardsman. A group of archers fired off some of their ammunition. The arrows flew through the air colliding with him.

He took the arrows in the chest but he moved. His feet picked up as he watched as Estellise fell. An arrow stuck deep in her shoulder as she slammed to the ground, letting out a cry of pain when she hit. Another arrow struck him in the back, this time he fell. But not before he landed next to her.

She was bleeding, gasping for air before she looked over to him. She was in pain, so much pain. He struggled, crawling slowly towards her before he felt something smack into the back of his head. Everything goes black.

* * *

I awoke with a start. My arms flying in the air only to be caught by another's hands. "It's okay!" My eyes flew open, only to meet the same gaze belonging to Alistair. His hands wrapped themselves around my own. They were warm, coarse from holding a hilt of a weapon for most of his life but it was the grip he had on my arms.

He pinned them down to my chest. It was in this movement that I grimace. I don't need to look down, I knew I was completely covered in bandages. My shoulder ached. Why did it hurt so much?

Then I remember everything.

"Oh, Maker…" I bring my hands to my face. I remember the battle through the tower. Then the Ogre and then… the battle with the Darkspawn. I remember getting hit, but I remember Cullen falling beside me.

"Cullen?" I look up through the tears as they run down my cheeks. Alistair seemed unharmed but he was shaking his head.

"He's not awake yet, but he's over there." He nodded towards another section of the small hut we were in. Cullen was asleep. His chest was covered in bandages. But he looked okay at least, from where I was sitting.

"We were rescued." Alistair starts. I switch my gaze to his. My hands wiping away the tears. "Do you remember the witch from the wilds?"

"Morrigan?" I remember her. Well, who wouldn't.

"Yes, her mother was the one who rescued us." I blink. Her mother? Strange as it was, I wanted to ask how but some how I knew better.

I go to get out but I feel heavy, weak. My body aches as I try to move. But I want to move. To at least maybe try to move. Though when I do, Alistair's hands are on my shoulders holding me back.

"You should rest." He urges me to relax but I want nothing more than to not do that.

"Just give me a second." I summon the only healing magic I had. The most basic healing spell. Resting my hand against my shoulder and let the blue light shimmer from my finger tips. It might not heal the wound but it would ease my pain, maybe speed up the process.

He seemed satisfied afterwards when he lets me stand up and tosses me a clean shirt and some pants. Just then I realized I was nearly naked and only in my small-clothes.

Suddenly the temperature in the room rises about a hundred degrees. I feel as if I will just explode on the spot. It took Alistair a second to realize why I was throwing clothes on in a flash. He stumbles up and out of his seat. Turning around quickly in the process of turning completely red. My back was to him as I finish buttoning up the shirt and tying the pants.

When he leaves to get some food from the fire outside. I sit down this time, next to Cullen. He was asleep but he was in pain. I couldn't blame him with the amount of arrows that were sticking out of his chest.

I summon the small spell I know and press it against his chest. Other than his absently touching my boobs, this was the first time I've ever touched him in any way. I can feel the heat rise in my cheeks just at the thought.

Cullen's eyes flutter but they were still shut. He was speaking incoherently but I find myself smiling. It was so easy to see him this way. He was always so quiet. He was always so strong. But he was always afraid of me. The Chantry says that it was our fault for the Darkspawn. That we were the reason for everything evil in this world. But they couldn't bring themselves to slaughtering us when we are born. So locking us away was the next best thing. And creating men, like Cullen to fight against us.

When the spell was complete, I pull my hands away. The glow lasted for a few seconds before his eyes fluttered opened. It took him only a second to register what was happening. "Estelle?" His voice was hoarse but I smile a little, my finger touches his forehead.

"Everything is okay." I say these words but it doesn't take him long to actually register them. "Do you want something to eat? Drink?" I move my hand only for him to catch it. "Stay." Was all he had to say, to make me stay put.

A few hours pass, Morrigan was in and out of the small hut to bring us food and water. She leaves us bandages so I can change his at least. She offered but apart of me wanted to scream at her to get away. That I'll do it, since I was the one here. But I can't bring myself to do it. I was cornered with my own decision but she laughs at me. "You do it." She says and leaves us alone in the hut once more.

I help him sit up slowly, I know he was in pain. Slowly my hands unwrap the bandages. There was some minor bleeding still but whoever healed him and pulled the arrows out had experience. I had only some in combat medical training.

Sort of a requirement within the tower and the healing classes. Though I mostly snoozed through all of those lectures. Then of course, Wynne would smack me around for awhile for sleeping in class.

Those really were the days.

I finished bandaging him up when Morrigan walks back in carrying garments and some gear that I don't really recognize.

"Here are some clothes. When you're dressed mother wants to speak with you." I move to get up but she sets a set of garments in my hands. Winking at me before she leaves again.

I leave Cullen to change in peace while I found a nice little wall to hide behind. I dress quickly, realizing that the clothes Morrigan has given me were well… I had no words. There was like very little fabric and very little skin that wasn't being shown. She must have found it amusing but I didn't. When I round the corner, Cullen was strapping his scale male back into place.

"Ready?" I ask as I try to cover up the fact my boobs were nearly being shown.

"Yeah, just one last buck-" He looks up just for a second. I have never seen him turn that red before. But he seems to understand why I was covering myself up.

"Don't ask." I turn to walk away but I just can't believe her. She gives me this green robe, made mostly out of animal skins and magic. But it barely covers anything. I can some how see her outside laughing at the idea of just a simple Circle Mage wearing something she would wear.

I sort of hate that woman.

I walk out of the hut to see Alistair quietly looking over a swamp. Why he was looking over a swamp I didn't understand and nor did I bother with asking. Morrigan's mother turns to me just as Cullen leaves the hut, closing the door behind him.

"I see Morrigan has let you borrow one of her robes." She was laughing but I ignore the idea of wanting to run away. Maybe jump into the swamp out of embarrassment.

"You're both… okay?" Alistair realized we were there. But there was a sad look in his eyes.

"We're… fine." Cullen clears his throat and avoids even looking at me. I couldn't really blame him.

"Loghain has betrayed us. He let Duncan and King Cailan die on the battlefield. All the Grey Wardens are dead but just us." My heart seems to stop and crawl up my throat.

"What does this mean?" Cullen looks to us and then his gaze lands upon Morrigan's mother.

"It means we're the last of the Wardens in Ferelden." I say but it hurts to see the look in Alistair's eyes.

"What now?" The three of us look between each other. We were the last, that meant more than I ever thought possible.

"The treaties." Morrigan's mother speaks up.

She was right. Those documents we found for Duncan. We still had them, or Alistair still had them.

"That's right!" Alistair looks to her, but then something crosses his eyes. "I'm sorry… I don't know what to call you."

"The Chasind call me Flemeth." If I could ever have a heart attack, it would be then but the open mouthed gapes from Cullen and Alistair seemed to be enough.

"Who else is there?" I ask, seemingly getting over the fact as to why I felt her power.

"There is Arl Eammon." Cullen offers. He was right, there was the Arl of Redcliffe. I remembered his troops never arrived in time.

"That's right! We can go to him for aid." Alistair looks between the two of us. "But can we do this?"

"Dwarves, Elves and Mages. Even this Eammon, they sound like an army to me." She had a point.

"We can do this." I assure Alistair even though I was only saying those words to reassure myself.

"Then where first?" I look to Cullen. He seems a little uneasy but I had no idea what to do and well, when I look to Alistair he didn't seem so assure.

"We need supplies, gear and a rest." He had a point. I could use a nice warm bed even if it was for only a single night.

"One last thing I can offer you." Flemeth says just as Morrigan returns from doing whatever it was she was doing.

"My daughter will go with you." She doesn't even have to look to us.

"WHAT?" Both Morrigan and Alistair shouted in utter surprise. I roll my eyes and decide that I'll just take in the landscape instead of listening to them argue.

"Her magic will be useful." Flemeth clarifies. "Now go pack."

Morrigan passes us but I can see how much she hates this idea. I couldn't blame her. From the stories I've read, Witches of the Wilds never leave the woods.

When she returns we were already set to go. Armor and equipment was all ready to go but Morrigan was not happy. She was already leading us out of here and through the woods.

"Where are we heading?" Cullen asks as he speeds up to walk next to her.

"Lothering." Was all she said.


	3. CHAPTER TWO: LOTHERING & CAMP

**A/N: **Hey! Okay, I am so very sorry for taking so long on this next chapter. I swear my life has been totally nuts. Not to mention I was also having a writer's block. It kind of sucked, so I started playing DAO again and managed to find it. All thanks to that five second greeting with Cullen in the beginning and the sad moment inside of the cage. Sigh, sigh. So like I said, had a bit of a writers block. OH! And the whole thing with Hawke and her family? I know when I started to write this I got all twisted up in the Wiki and had a moment of dumbness. And I was very lazy and didn't feel like going back through and changing everything. So her real name, birth name is Estellise Hawke. So when she was left at the bridge leading to the Tower she accepted the last name of Amell and thus is how she became Amell. But I hope all of you enjoyed that little introduction of Marian and her siblings. As always, enjoy and well enjoy! And please, review! I enjoy reading your words about the story! Thank you! :)

**DISCLAIMER:** Characters are owned by Bioware!

* * *

The moment Lothering came into view, my heart had literally stopped. I stood at the brink of the one place I promised I would never come too. I knew better. Or I should have known better. My brother wouldn't be happy to see me. Nor would his wife of so many years. The truth is, no one knows of him. No one knows that I have a sibling and he has a family. Because I changed my last name, took his wife's maiden name for my own.

But I will never tell anyone this. For there is no point. I am Estellise Amell, that is all the world will ever see me as.

On the way out of the wilds we came across a lone mabari. It was the same one I had helped back in Ostagar. Surprisingly he was still alive. Though the only good he did was bring a herd of Darkspawn towards us.

The others wanted him to leave. But I couldn't bring myself to tell him to leave.

I enjoyed his company. It was almost natural.

"Lothering, as pretty as a painting." Alistair sighed as we had just finished dispatching the bandits and came to the very edge of the long road.

"Alistair?" Cullen questioned. The two of them had become close over the past few days we had been traveling. It was almost natural for two Templars to find some type of thing to relate too. It was almost nice.

"So you've finally decided to join us," Morrigan's voice had such venom in it. She really didn't like him.

Nor did she care for Cullen either.

She doesn't even give me a second glance. But I think apart of her wants to talk to me. I don't know why.

Instead I ignore their banters between each other. My hand touching my Mabari's head. He purred under my fingers. His fur was so warm, so friendly.

"Estelle, what do you think?" Morrigan's voice cut above my daydreaming.

"I don't care." I mumble, my fingers burying themselves in his fur. He didn't say anything but he sighed. It was comforting.

"Don't care she says!" I don't bother with being hurt by Morrigan's angry tone. She wants my opinion on everything but I don't bother with ever telling anyone. What's the point.

"Go into town, find us a place to sleep and supplies." Cullen had already reached into the crevice of his chest plate. A small bag of coins in his hands dangled before me.

"And if I can't find us a place to sleep?" I question. Obviously this place was going to be jam packed with refugees.

"Then we'll just have to set up camp somewhere." He said with such an easy smile, that I can't help but to return it.

"Okay." I take the bag of coins and head into the small village.

After hours on end of myself, Hades (yes, I finally managed to name him) and a few merchants. I was able to get us some supplies. They were both very helpful, after I told the Chantry Sister to back off. That the man had a right to his own merchandise and how he sold it. I of course got the most nastiest glare from the Sister but it didn't seem to phase me much.

Chantry were such snobs, sometimes.

"I uh… can't carry all of that." I look down to the large pile of equipment and supplies. Hades sighed, sitting down on his haunches next to me.

"You know, maybe I should just look for a wagon or something." I sigh softly to myself, my hand rubbing the back of my neck. Worrisome was not a feeling I was really enjoying.

"Estelle?" A deep husky voice from behind brought me out of my stupor. "Estelle is that really you?" The question was obviously directed towards myself.

I turn around slowly.

"Gregory?" The name surprisingly left my lips so easily.

"By the maker, it really is you!" Before I could say anything else, my brother's large arms are around me. His head resting against the top of my own. My face pressed into his chest. "I never thought…" He muttered into my hair.

"Dad, Bethany won't shut…" A husky female voice seemed to have ruined our little reunion.

"Dad?" Came another two voices at the same time.

"Whose that?" My brother's arms tightened around me. My own arms wrapped themselves around his chest. Burying my face into his chest. I let out a small sigh. It was so comforting. So familiar. So warm.

"This is your Aunt, Marian." Marian? That would mean…

He lets go of me. Taking a few steps back, to take me in as he brings us around to face his three children.

Maker they all looked alike.

"Marian, Carver, Bethany… this is your Aunt Estelle." He smiled, big enough to stretch all across his lips.

"You said she was at the Circle." Bethany spoke in utter disbelief.

"Why aren't you at the Circle?" It suddenly occurred to him. "You shouldn't be here. Not with the Blight."

"I… well, it's a long story." I sigh looking at the four of them.

"Fine then, how about we have some lunch and you can share it then?" He grips my shoulders tightly.

"That sounds wonderful. But only if my friend can come along as well." I look down to the smiling mabari sitting quietly beside me. He seemed to be taking all of this as if it was nothing. Sometimes I wish I could switch places with him.

"You have a mabari?" Marian's brow quirked. Damn she was like her dad, so much so.

"Yeah, well that's apart of the story too." I let out an uneasy laugh.

* * *

"Cullen, I have no idea where she went." Alistair groaned over the vicious banter between Sten and Leliana. The newest members of their group.

"She couldn't have gone far." Cullen muttered to himself. His gaze shifting over all the forms in the encampment surrounding Lothering. "The merchants around here said they dealt with a woman fitting her description."

"You don't think Loghain's men…" Alistair's weight shifted uneasy. He didn't want to even think about what could have happened.

"Doubtful." Morrigan's voice cut above their own thoughts. "The Bard said she wasn't in the tavern."

"Point taken." Cullen sighed. Morrigan sometime spoke reason above all else. Except when she disapproved of everything. Which seemed like she did that all the time.

"Then we'll have to do it the old fashion way." Alistair started down the steps, leading back into Lothering.

"Do what the old fashion way?"

They all had turned as if by will. She was standing there, quietly behind the three of them. Her mabari sitting quietly at her heels. He shouldn't have been so worried. Not with that blasted beast following her everywhere she went. But he was. The Chantry never once explained how to quell his emotions. And now, now he was feeling things that he never once felt before.

But it was her refreshing smile upon her lips, that made his worry die down. She seemed all right.

"Estellise?" Alistair's shocked voice cut above the groups banter.

"Where were you?" Morrigan's worried tone shocked even Cullen.

"I was looking for a wagon and some animals to pull it." She smiled, there was a certain air about her now. Even he picked up on it.

"Did you find one?" She looked to Alistair. Whom was smiling a fool.

There was that certain feeling deep within Cullen that he started to hate. She shouldn't be smiling like that, not with Alistair.

"Yes," she said simply. "I also set up camp not too far from here."

How did she manage to do that by herself? It was nearly dark out.

"Good." He didn't mean to use such a dark tone when he spoke but it brought her dark gaze upon him. "I'll… uh take you guys there."

She turned on them, but not before she gave him a reassured smile.

It wasn't far from where the main highway, but it was at least concealed. The small clearing had a few tents set up, a nice sized fire going. Food was even cooking over it. She really couldn't have done this herself.

She was from the tower. What little outdoors training she had was when both him, Duncan and her were traveling to Ostagar. And that was very little.

"I'm starving." Alistair groaned making his way into the camp.

"I'm going to eat… away from the rest of you." Morrigan made her way to the very edge of the camp. It seemed Amell knew that Morrigan wouldn't want to be with them. And had set up a site just away from the rest of the group.

"There is a lake in that direction. And I got some directions for Redcliffe. Though I think we should go to the Tower first. But that's up to you guys." Reaching into a pocket amongst her robes, she had managed to procure a map as well.

Impressive.

After an hour of quiet discussions, sharing dinner and debating on who would be taking watch. Cullen had finally managed to relax for a few minutes.

He was thrown into the position of the group's leader. He didn't want to be in this position. In fact he didn't like the idea of making all these choices.

He weighed the oppositions. Alistair could be the leader, but it was like he enjoyed being told what to do. Though he was really their senior in all the matters of being wardens. It did make the most sense. Estelle, he sighed looking over to her quiet form. The fire light danced all around her quiet features. They were so serene. She seemed almost at peace for some reason.

She refused being in charge. Even though Morrigan tried to push her into the role. She had said she wasn't fit to lead. Not to mention the rest of the country's fear of magic. It only made sense.

Then she started to laugh. It was cheerful, happy. She was laughing, her arms around her waist as she sat there.

Cullen's gaze followed her own to Alistair having an argument with that damnable hound that found them. It seemed he was losing. But what was being said, he couldn't hear over Amell's laughter.

She had gotten up after catching her breath. Moving to sit next to Alistair. Her hand sparked with a light blue haze as she reached for his own hand. Something inside of Cullen twitched. He wanted to shout. To get her attention but he would be selfish.

"You like her." The Orlesian accent hit his ears, the soft gentle voice belonged to Leliana.

"I don't know what you're talking about." He stretched his arms above his head. Estelle was laughing again. He didn't need to look over there to know what was going on between Alistair and her was more intimate than he would approve of.

"You do know what I'm talking about." She had already taken a seat next to him. A lute in her hands, strumming it quietly. He had forgotten she was a bard.

"You like her." She repeated again.

She was right. Even if he didn't want to admit it. He had liked her since he first came to the Tower. He had liked her from the moment he saw her smile. He heard her laugh.

"You have been watching her this entire time." He smiled a little when he heard Leliana's truth.

Maybe the bard was worth the risk of adding to their group, he thought to himself.

* * *

"He is a war dog, Alistair." I laugh quietly. Finishing up the healing spell upon his hand.

"I know, I just…" He sighed letting me heal his hand.

"You just didn't think, yes?" I find myself laughing again. He smiled this time, turning to meet my own gaze.

He wasn't so bad looking, I thought. Especially when he gave me that sheepish smile. "Yes." He replied which made me smile.

"You're fine now." I move to let go of his hand but he keeps it locked within his own. He seemed torn, lost in something. I let him keep my hand, if it would help.

"I… I… I'm sorry." He spoke just above a whisper.

"Sorry for what?" I ask but I know why he was sorry. He had been quiet the whole time out of the wilds. He took his anger, his aggression out on Morrigan. He spoke mostly to Cullen, never saying more than a few words towards myself. Though it didn't bother me. I was still in shock of what has happened.

"For being so quiet." I smile, wrapping my other hand around our own interlocked. His hand was coarse, warm. "I was just thinking."

"About Duncan?" I ask. His eyes look away from mine. Sadness etched across his face.

"I feel like I failed him. Like I should have been the one who died instead of him." My hands tighten on his. My body even moved closer to him, I don't know what made me do this. But maybe it was because of the look in his eyes. All that sadness shouldn't be there.

"You didn't fail him." I whisper. "You have the chance to save Ferelden. You have a chance to make everything he died for a reality. It's up to you and us. But mainly," I rest my head on his shoulder. He didn't seem bothered by it but it was enough of a comfort for the two of us. "It's up to you."

"Thanks." He laughed.

"You're welcome." I laugh in return.

"You didn't know much about him, did you?" I shake my head, closing my eyes after I catch a small glance towards Cullen. He was busy in conversation with Leliana.

"He said he was Highever." His head fell resting upon my own. "Maybe once this is over with, I'll go there. Give him a proper burial."

"If you'd like, maybe I'll go with you." I yawn through my words.

"I'd like that. And I think he'd like that." He yawned in return.

I sit up, stretching my arms in front of me. Alistair seemed content after our little conversation. Though I know it will take time for him to heal. We all had to have our time take all of this in. Alistair more so than the rest of us.

"I think I'll go take a swim and then I'll go to bed." Standing up, I pat his shoulder. "Will you be okay?" I ask, not sure if I should. But he looks up to me, a smile on his lips but it didn't exactly reach his eyes. "I'll be fine."

It wasn't exactly the reassured response I was looking for but it was enough.

The lake wasn't too far from us. But it was a small one, barely noticeable enough to put on any sort of map. Only way I found it was because of Marian. She was nice enough to show it to me before we parted ways.

I was impressed though. She was smart, talented with magic and so strong willed. She hadn't asked me any questions. She didn't want to know why I had her mother's maiden name and not the same as her own. Not to mention, the fact we're the same age. It was a little weird. But she was nice enough to spend sometime showing me how to set up camp, how to keep a fire going and even how to hook up a fishing pole.

Though I got the feeling the moment she hugged me and said good-bye, that it would be our last.

In the moonlight, the lake looked so calm.

Stripping out of my robes, all my gear falling into a nice neat pile beside my feet. Hades had already laid down in a comfortable spot next to my things. A yawn leaving his giant maw, as he leaned down to lick his paws contently.

"Bark if anyone comes near."

He gives me such a lazy look that I wonder how a mabari can be so frightening sometimes.

The last items to go was my small-clothes, tossing them on the pile I wade into the lake.

Surprisingly it wasn't as cold as I thought it'd be. But it was still soothing. Washing away my thoughts, I dip down under the water. Letting it cover me, as I hold my breath. My eyes closed shut.

The image of his brother and his family floated into my vision. They were so happy. They had a thing in Lothering despite the fact they hid their magic right under the noses of the Templars.

It wasn't until I was nearly out of breath that movement in the water rushed towards me. I rush towards the surface, only to emerge. Locking eyes with Cullen as he was already swimming in my direction. Worry etched his normally calm eyes.

"Cullen?" I say his name but it doesn't register until he is nearly a foot away from me.

"You were under there…" He was out of breath but he was surprisingly unaware of the fact he was wearing clothes and I wasn't.

"Um…" I give him a nervous look. "Cullen?"

"What?" He blinks but I sigh to myself. I wasn't going to bother with covering myself up, since well I could probably drown. I was no near the shallow end of the lake.

"I'm uh…" I can't seem to get the words out.

"You're…" He looks down. The water wasn't exactly hiding anything from him.

Suddenly he goes red. It was almost charming, in an innocent sort of way. "I… uh… I… I'll… just go." He was already swimming back so fast that I couldn't even register how quickly he was.

I blinked watching him wade out of the water. But he stopped moving. He stood there, on the bank dripping. Soaking wet from his panicked rush into the water.

He was debating with himself.

But why?

I dip under the water and start back to the shore.

I keep myself under the water until my feet hit the ground and just as I emerge to the surface of the water. He was still standing there. His back to me, his fists balled up at his sides and his head dipped down.

A quiet bark. A greeting from Hades was enough to let Cullen know that I was behind him.

"Are you alright?" I ask, keeping myself at least out of eye sight within the water.

"No." He said, his voice darker than I have heard from him before.

"May I ask why?" His shoulders shutter.

"I… just need sometime." I look to Hades, the mabari seemed to pick up on something because he gave a soft whine.

"Cullen…" I move out of the water slowly.

I have always had feelings for him. Since the moment we started spending time together. Duncan urged our friendship, but it wasn't until I was nursing him back to health in the small hut. The way he would fall in and out of sleep. The way his lips would part when he was breathing. Even the moment when he first woke up, he smiled. Truly he was very good looking.

"Cullen…" I was behind him. My feet were taking those steps towards him. I didn't even know what I was doing.

Words were useless the moment he turned around. He took a deep breath, uneasiness flowed through us but it wasn't until he closed the distance. His arms around my waist. His fingers digging in my back. His eyes had darkened, his lips had parted. I had no idea what was going through his mind. Nor did I wonder.

His head had dipped. His lips had parted even more, capturing my mouth with his own. His body pressed against my own. His hands running up and down my back, locking with the tips of my hair.

His lips pressed against mine, putting more urgency into the kiss. My arms moved on their own. Wrapping themselves around his neck, digging my fingers into his hair. Pulling him closer to me.

He broke the kiss suddenly. Taking a deep unwavering breath, I stare up to him. His light eyes sparkle a little before something crosses them.

"I'm… I'm… I don't know…" He stammered just above a whisper. "I don't know what came over me."

I want to tell him that it's okay. That everything is forgiven. But the words can't seem reach my lips.

He broke away. His hands leaving their marks upon my body. Suddenly I am well aware of being nude and still dripping from my swim in the lake.

Before I could do anything - say anything he left. Leaving me behind, alone and in the dark.

"Cullen…" His name leaves my lips but the only one who heard it was Hades. His small whine brought me back to reality.

Grabbing some soaps from my pouch, I wade back into the water and finish what I had started.


End file.
